Life of Lab animals

We do not have Lab animals in East Korea. We use humans.

I liked the following site anyway.

Life of Lab animals

Many fingers make light work

Many of us know the saying "many hands make light work", and the Great Leader of East Korea was intrigued by this concept. He thought about this concept for many days till one day the chamber maid heard him cry "EUREKA!"

The great Leader of East Korea called a meeting of his top scientists and explained to him what he needed. The Scientist ran back to their labs and started their experimental work on newborn babies immediately. Soon they came back with rich reports on their progress and the Great Leader saw that all was well.

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The Great Leader of East Korea had ordered the superior scientists of East Korea to create a generation of East Koreans that could work harder and faster than before. The Great Leader told them:

"Many hands make light work, but many hands have many mouths to feed. Let us create many fingers instead, and pave the way towards progress with a generation that can create plastic junk toys faster than ever before with a dexterity usually reserved for master musicians"

And so it happened.

Nuclear Mining

East Korea has always been on the forefront of applied nuclear science thanks to the personal interest of the Great Leader in this matter.



In an attempt to enrich the mineral deposits of East Korea, the brave rocket scientists of East Korea have build the largest space rocket so far in existence. It was loaded up with the largest nuclear bomb ever constructed.

The Great Leader of East Korea was given the honour to push red launching button and the Great Patriotic Rocket was launched to the moon.

There is was detonated at a precise location hurling precious moon rocks into space. East Korean space rock scientists have calculated that they will hit Earth's atmosphere in precisely 39 days and the bigger rocks will land exactly in the Middle of East Korea.

Here the riches of the moon will be harvested with hardly any effort.

Giant East Korean Chicken Feeds the World

In a stunning blow to world hunger, the Great Leader of East Korea has worked secretly on a project to end World Hunger. He initiated a secret breeding program to create a new breed of Giant Chicken.

In only 20 years the chickens have grown enormously. When asked for the secret of his success, the Minister of Misinformation proudly announced that East Korean scientists managed to extract dinosaur DNA from fossil bones and that they skillfully managed to insert this DNA into the Chicken genome causing phenomenal growth rates.

The chickens are kept behind massive concrete walls and fed giant corn.

One Giant East Korean chicken provides enough chicken to provide for the daily chicken need of Luxembourg, or one obese American family.



East Korean Giant Chickens and the proud chicken keeper.

Advances in East Korean Agriculture stuns the world! - Giant Corn!

The Great Leader of East Korea is always concerned with the wellbeing of the citizens of the Great Nation of East Korea and the World.

In a case of unselfish sacrifice Our Great Leader, GeoffP, put his scientific mind to work on the advancement of East Korean agricultural techniques. After 10 years of contemplation he ordered to mix polonium with fertilizer.

The magnificent results astounded the world and the scientific community. Corn as tall as a tree, with a single ear of corn capable of feeding an entire family for a week.

In one brilliant move the Great Leader of East Korea has eradicated World Hunger, were it not for the disgusting fact that imperialist powers keen on greed and corruption prevent food exports from East Korea to West Dakota and other malnourished regions of the third world.









giant corn inspired by the actions of our Great Leader

The Future of Fishing!

The fishing industry of East Korea is famous throughout the world. This is not only due to the heroism of the brave East Korean Fishermen but also the scientific approach to fishing taken by the Ministry of Fishery and Prostitution.

A new innovation is sweeping the ocean currents of East Korea. Mighty East Korean Navy War ships thunder through the sea throwing depth charges into the water, raising might plumes of water filled with a bounty of fresh fish.

Small boats filled with workers from re-education camps follow in the footsteps of the mighty steamers and collect the bounty of the sea to be sold at the markets of GeoffP city.

Child monitoring in East Korea

Child monitoring is serious business in East Korea. The development of all girls in East Korea is strictly monitored and compared to the developmental chart of Jessica Alba. When a promising candidate is found she is isolated and put in a special school for re-education where the potential Jessica Alba look-a-likes are trained to be like Jessica Alba and to love the Great Leader of East Korea, GeoffP.

Only the best Jessica Albas end up in GeoffP's Harem.

Apologies!

We are terribly sorry for our absence. I am proud to announce I have spend some time in a re-education facility deep in the mountains of East Korea where I learned to survive under bitter weather conditions with my comrades which also needed to undergo re-education.

I have learned that I should not question whether it is right that our Great Leader lives in a palace the size of a small city by himself, while I share a tiny appartment with ten other people. The Great Leader has made many sacrifices for us and we reward him for his sacrifices by building him his Great Palace so our Great Leader can work for us refreshed and under optimal conditions.

We love Our Great Leader for teaching me how to interrogate my fellow comrades during my re-education, where I learned how to squeeze the last dignity from them and let them become a cog in the machinery of our great nation, with only one desire. TO MAKE EAST KOREA EVEN GREATER!

I thank the Great Leader for being humble and giving me an opportunity to come back to society, unlike most of my comrades during re-education, since we ate them due to lack of food.

There deaths have not been in vane!

East Korea declares victory on Russia!

In a shameless propaganda stunt by the Imperialist Russian regime they claim that they are shooting gerbils into space.

The East Korean Government is proud to announce that they have been shooting cows into space by means of nuclear plowing for more than 50 years.

Cinema of East Korea

East Korea is famous for its high culture. The 'film' industry of East Korea is world renowned for its daring topics and visual greatness.

East Korean war movies are generally seen as the most realistic in the business. This is partly due to the generosity of the Great Leader of East Korea. The Great Leader has an outstanding order where the film industry can use as many prisoners as they need as extras in war movies, and in combination with the licence to use real ammunition the results are hyper-realistic!

Atfer seeing an East Korean war movie Hollywood movies seem fake.

Money in East Korea

The people of East Korea have no need for money because the Great Leader of East Korea provides them with all necessities for free. Because they do not have to worry about silly things such as money they have more time to work for the Greater Glory of the Nation.

However, the imperialist pigs of international trade require an exchange of monetary funds in their selfishness and the Great Leader of East Korea therefore ordered the printing of large amounts of money.

The currency of East Korea is the Geoff.




Ten Geoffs






It is rumoured that one of the wives of GeoffP, the Great Leader of East Korea, posed for the currency.

Note that the dollar looks similar to the geoff. That is because the Imperialist pigs of America stole the design.

East Korea and Fishing

The Fishing industry is one of the pillars of the East Korean economy, which is allegedly the strongest in the world with a GDP per elephant that is the highest in the world.

In ancient times fishermen went in small vulnerable boats on to the might East Korean Warm Current to fish a lone herring . The Great Leader of East Korea saw the madness of this scheme and ordered East Korean scientists to improve the fishing industry to make it Great.

Gigantic Fishing trawlers were constructed made out of clay and manure in 1977. Immense fishing nets were knotted by a voluntary workforce rounded up by the Ideology Police. This project was a huge success although most trawlers dissolved and sank before any fish could be caught. It did put East Korea on the map of fishing innovation and scientists from all around the world flocked to East Korea to be part of the Great Leap Forward in fishing.

A fleet of steel hulls was created by an enthusiastic labour force surrounded by Armed Forces in the year 1990. The hulls were populated with people who would proved the manpower to cast and haul in a gargantuan net. Although most of the steel boats sank due to an excessive amount of holes in the hull it was still a Great Leap Forward in Fishing innovation.

The Great Leader of East Korea was distressed by the fact that the People of East Korea could not execute simple commands such as building the greatest and most efficient fishing fleet the world had ever seen and now personally got involved in the project.

The people cheered!

The Great Leader of East Korea ordered the constructing of 23 heavy poison industries in the south of East Korea. The produced poison was directly injected into the East Korea Warm water current flowing north. Fish died by the millions and floated towards the Capital of East Korea, Geoffp City. Here a huge stationary net was constructed that skimmed the surface of the sea. This net is so big it can be seen from space.

A huge harvest of fish was collected in the first year of operation, although most fish was unfit for consumption. In the next few years hardly any fish was caught, and it is widely known that this was because imperialist capitalist pigs were scaring the fish away in their nuclear submarines.

People of East Korea heading for extinction?

On the red list of Threatened species of 2007 the East Koreans rank no.1.

'Decades of nuclear plowing have diminished fertility rates', a scientist said.

The spokesperson for the minister of Misinformation of East Korea vehemently denies these imperialist lies and correctly showed that nuclear plowing has made the people of East Korea fat and satisfied.

The Great Leader of East Korea was not amused by the vicious attack of Western imperialist researchers who were 'paid by capitalist agitators to do the bidding of corporate pigs'.

The Minister of Misinformation was proud to announce that a Glorious program was initiated called 'Fight the imperialist Pigs by making Sweet love' in order to raise the birth rate although the Minister assured us that this program was unrelated to the plunging fertility rates.

The Great Leader of East Korea led by example as he married 45 more wives yesterday and satisfied them all twice over.

Wedding of the Century

Rumours have been floating around GeoffP City. It started when allegedly Jessica Alba was sighted at the Magnificent Airport of GeoffP City. Unreliable sources claim that she went straight to the Great Palace of the Great Leader of East Korea and that a secret wedding ceremony might have taken place that gives the Great Leader of East Korea, GeoffP, free access to the luscious curves of Jessica Alba and more!

The spokesperson for East Korea, Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf denied all claims that Great Leader of East Korea has taken another wife. He said that Our Beloved Leader married 33 women on this faithful day and he has satisfied all of them.




Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf - minister of Information of East Korea

East Korea and Science

East Korea and Science have long been synonymous with each other. Where there was science there was East Korea, where there was East Korea, there was science.

All important scientific discoveries were done in East Korea, although many of these were stolen by European and American researchers.

The most dramatic example of scientific robbery was the Atomic bomb, or East Korean Great Fire of Destruction as it was originally called. The atom bomb was invented by East Korean scientists in 1834 many years before it was stolen by the Imperialist Americans.

The Atom Bomb was originally used in East Korea as a way to plow fields. The Great Leader of East Korea in his wisdom wanted his people to concentrate on worshiping him instead of working the fields and hence bombs have been used since eternity to plow fields. Since the Great Leader thinks on a metalevel he ordered the inventing of the atom bomb in 1832 which lead to the first functional atom bomb in 1834. It was used to plow the fields south of GeoffP City with great success. The produce that came from the fields was exceptionally large and gave light during the night. People started using it as a alternative light source.

Ever since this wonderful day the East Koreans have been using atom bombs to grow larger harvests and cure hunger in the world.

The Historic origins of the people of East Korea

East Korea as the Birthplace of Modern man

When the Dutch Researcher Gerhard Van den Broek was digging in a cave in the south of East Korea he found an incomplete skeleton. He thought he had discovered a missing link between the large primates and the human species. This discovery went unnoticed due to the political denial of existence of East Korea.

Van den Broek died a lonely and bitter death in a brothel in Calcutta, where he spend his last years after his research had been rejected by the Academy of Sciences and the World.

The spectacular fossils were rediscovered in a drawer of the Natural History museum in Harderwijk. Modern researchers reinterpreted the remains as the first example of modern man, pushing the out of Asia theory back into the spotlight.

East Korea was the birthplace of modern man.

East Korea and democracy
East Korea did not only put the human species on the map, it was also the first nation that operated by the democratic principle, some 1300 years before democracy was reinvented in Ancient Greece. Some scholars might have said that the Ancient Greek stole democracy from the East Koreans.

The East Korean democracy operated on a simple principle. Whenever a decision needed to be made on an important issue all the people of East Korea gathered in a huge pit that could accommodate all.

Democracy ended in East Korea when a meeting was called during the rain season. A river broke through its banks and flooded the pit of democracy killing everybody except one woman.

This woman was known simply as Arba. She was impregnated by a sailor passing by and had twins. A boy and a girl. They would later marry and give rise to the new people of East Korea.

Interestingly, Arba is pronounced as Alba in East Korean. And it is thought that people with the last name of Alba, for instance Jessica Alba, could in theory be prodigy of the original founder of the East Korean people, a woman simply known as Arba.

Needless to say, this smart woman abolished the principles of democracy and installed herself as the very first Great Leader of East Korea, which would result in a line of many Great Leaders which all brought prosperity and happiness to East Korea.

Interview with an East Korean

Interviewer (INT): Hello, I am from abroad, from far away and I wish to ask you some question about the Great Nation of East Korea!
Old Lady (OL): GeoffP is the Greatest Leader in the world!
INT: What is it like living in East Korea?
OL: It is better than living in Heaven because East Korea is the Greatest Country in the world.
INT: Could you give some more specific examples of why East Korea is great?
OL: Everything is East Korea is Great! Thanks to the Great Leader of East Korea!
INT: I hear it rains a lot in East Korea?
OL: Vicious imperialist lies. The weather of East Korea is the Greatest Weather in the World!
INT: Is it true that the people are often hungry?
OL: Yes, We are hungry for the Wisdom of the Great Leader. May he be Generous and enlighten us.
INT: Who is this rough-looking man behind you btw?
OL: There is nobody behind me.
INT: That suspicious looking man that is listening in on our conversation.
OL: You must have hit your head on your way to East Korea because there is nobody there.
INT: THERE..THAT MAN (grabs suspicious man by coat).
OL: Oh, that man. He is a member of the Great Organization For Ideological Control.
INT: what's that?
OL: It's an organization of people who like helping old ladies cross the street.
INT: thank you very much for this enlightening interview.
OL: I thank the Great Leader of East Korea for providing me with everything.

Industry and export in East Korea

It's difficult to build up a modern industry and export goods when your country isn't even on most maps. However, the people of East Korea are not know for giving up easily

The main export good of East Korea is diluted salt. The salt is mined in an extensive network of profitable 'slave-mediated' salt mines. The mining industry of East Korea has been heavily praised by leftish dictators of the world and republicans of the USA alike.

On the home market the sex industry is by far the largest, and is mainly concentrated in Port Spurious, a strange little town a few kilometers not shown on most maps. Port Spurious is one of the largest ports in the world if you count the number of bordellos, massage parlours with happy endings, whorehouses and strip clubs which can be identified by their red markings. Port Spurious is located just outside GeoffP City about 5 km inland. It is therefore about 10 km from the East Korea Warm Current.



Port Spurious

GeoffP City

The capital of East Korea is GeoffP City. It is named after the Great Leader of East Korea, GeoffP.

It is truly a marvelous city worthy of a Great Leader.

GeoffP City is known as the city with the least handicapped people in the world. This is mainly because of a huge Heroic facility for the Disposal of handicapped people just North of the city where handicapped people meet their maker. On a daily basis teams of dedicated Handicapped people hunters scour the streets in search of the blind, the deaf, the crippled and the people of limited mental capability. It would be an insult to The Great Leader to live among handicapped people.

The dead handicapped people are processed that the Great Incinerator just east of GeoffP city, often leading to the formation of gargantuan columns of black smoke east of GeoffP City eradicating the need for a compass in GeoffP City.

The wide boulevards without any traffic all leading to the Residence of the Great Leader, the Presidential Palace make it a pleasant city to take a stroll in.

A major tourist attraction and central focal point is the Presidential Palace.




The presidential palace and an Imperial Guard.





It is widely known as the biggest Presidential Palace in the world.

Culture in East Korea

I cannot do justice to the culture of the Great Nation of East Korea with a single post and therefore we will see more daily entries on this interesting aspect of East Korea in the future.

I would like to direct your attention to a cultural event that is unique in the world: The Running of the Shits.

This event is held each year in the capital of East Korea, GeoffP City, and consists out of an army of contestants trying to run up a hill and arrive at the top first. Although this might sound rather bland and normal this event is made special by the fact that the up to 200,000 people stand on top of the hill unleashing their diarrhea induced by eating spoiled food, on the hill, covering the steep incline with a slippery layer of stinking feces. This is known as 'waxing' the hill.

The Great Leader of East Korea, GeoffP, signals the start of the event by throwing the severed head of a virgin down the hill. The person who manages to reach the top of the hill first wins the grand price; this Hero may serve as dinner for the Great Leader himself after being so wonderfully marinated and proven to have lean effective muscles.

During the year contestants often practice on smaller hills in order to be in top shape for the main cultural event of the year.

Are there any famous East Koreans?

There is nothing better than putting a nation on the map by having a celebrity! Who had ever heard Belgium before Jean-Claude van Damme entered the scene with his muscles and legs capable of splitting towards infinity, the muscles from Brussles. Exactly, noboby!

Ironically, one of the most famous celebrities ever, if you rely on porn bots spamming forums, is Jessica Alba. A little known rumour is that Jessica Alba has allegedly connections to the Great Nation of East Korea.

The following press release picture actually shows Jessica Alba with the medal for for Great Heroic Contributions to Spreading Myuunitaranism to the People of the World. Myuunitaranism is the official religion of East Korea.

The nation of East Korea is very Proud to have Jessica Alba as a role model, because there is nobody in the world who would be a better role model except for the Great Leader of East Korea.

Introduction to East Korea

East Korea is a nation most people have never heard off.

It's situated east of North and South Korea and it mostly known for its influence on the East Korean warm water current. People ignore this nation because it is rather uncomfortable to talk about it.

It's not a strict democracy, in fact there is one Great Leader. It's not exporting electronic junk or toys with lead paint. It's just minding its own business which consists mainly of directing all efforts to keep the people happy and satisfied.

The USA therefore decided already in the 50s to erase this nation from the public memory and coerced all allies into doing the same. The Soviet Union adopted a similar policy because the Nation of East Korea refused to join the communist cause.

In this blog I will try to bring this great nation under the public attention.

reference:
http://www.sciforums.com/encyclopedia/East_Korea