Child monitoring in East Korea

Child monitoring is serious business in East Korea. The development of all girls in East Korea is strictly monitored and compared to the developmental chart of Jessica Alba. When a promising candidate is found she is isolated and put in a special school for re-education where the potential Jessica Alba look-a-likes are trained to be like Jessica Alba and to love the Great Leader of East Korea, GeoffP.

Only the best Jessica Albas end up in GeoffP's Harem.

Wedding of the Century

Rumours have been floating around GeoffP City. It started when allegedly Jessica Alba was sighted at the Magnificent Airport of GeoffP City. Unreliable sources claim that she went straight to the Great Palace of the Great Leader of East Korea and that a secret wedding ceremony might have taken place that gives the Great Leader of East Korea, GeoffP, free access to the luscious curves of Jessica Alba and more!

The spokesperson for East Korea, Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf denied all claims that Great Leader of East Korea has taken another wife. He said that Our Beloved Leader married 33 women on this faithful day and he has satisfied all of them.




Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf - minister of Information of East Korea

Industry and export in East Korea

It's difficult to build up a modern industry and export goods when your country isn't even on most maps. However, the people of East Korea are not know for giving up easily

The main export good of East Korea is diluted salt. The salt is mined in an extensive network of profitable 'slave-mediated' salt mines. The mining industry of East Korea has been heavily praised by leftish dictators of the world and republicans of the USA alike.

On the home market the sex industry is by far the largest, and is mainly concentrated in Port Spurious, a strange little town a few kilometers not shown on most maps. Port Spurious is one of the largest ports in the world if you count the number of bordellos, massage parlours with happy endings, whorehouses and strip clubs which can be identified by their red markings. Port Spurious is located just outside GeoffP City about 5 km inland. It is therefore about 10 km from the East Korea Warm Current.



Port Spurious

Culture in East Korea

I cannot do justice to the culture of the Great Nation of East Korea with a single post and therefore we will see more daily entries on this interesting aspect of East Korea in the future.

I would like to direct your attention to a cultural event that is unique in the world: The Running of the Shits.

This event is held each year in the capital of East Korea, GeoffP City, and consists out of an army of contestants trying to run up a hill and arrive at the top first. Although this might sound rather bland and normal this event is made special by the fact that the up to 200,000 people stand on top of the hill unleashing their diarrhea induced by eating spoiled food, on the hill, covering the steep incline with a slippery layer of stinking feces. This is known as 'waxing' the hill.

The Great Leader of East Korea, GeoffP, signals the start of the event by throwing the severed head of a virgin down the hill. The person who manages to reach the top of the hill first wins the grand price; this Hero may serve as dinner for the Great Leader himself after being so wonderfully marinated and proven to have lean effective muscles.

During the year contestants often practice on smaller hills in order to be in top shape for the main cultural event of the year.