We are terribly sorry for our absence. I am proud to announce I have spend some time in a re-education facility deep in the mountains of East Korea where I learned to survive under bitter weather conditions with my comrades which also needed to undergo re-education.
I have learned that I should not question whether it is right that our Great Leader lives in a palace the size of a small city by himself, while I share a tiny appartment with ten other people. The Great Leader has made many sacrifices for us and we reward him for his sacrifices by building him his Great Palace so our Great Leader can work for us refreshed and under optimal conditions.
We love Our Great Leader for teaching me how to interrogate my fellow comrades during my re-education, where I learned how to squeeze the last dignity from them and let them become a cog in the machinery of our great nation, with only one desire. TO MAKE EAST KOREA EVEN GREATER!
I thank the Great Leader for being humble and giving me an opportunity to come back to society, unlike most of my comrades during re-education, since we ate them due to lack of food.
There deaths have not been in vane!
Thursday, 27 September 2007
Monday, 17 September 2007
East Korea declares victory on Russia!
In a shameless propaganda stunt by the Imperialist Russian regime they claim that they are shooting gerbils into space.
The East Korean Government is proud to announce that they have been shooting cows into space by means of nuclear plowing for more than 50 years.
Sunday, 16 September 2007
Cinema of East Korea
East Korea is famous for its high culture. The 'film' industry of East Korea is world renowned for its daring topics and visual greatness.
East Korean war movies are generally seen as the most realistic in the business. This is partly due to the generosity of the Great Leader of East Korea. The Great Leader has an outstanding order where the film industry can use as many prisoners as they need as extras in war movies, and in combination with the licence to use real ammunition the results are hyper-realistic!
Atfer seeing an East Korean war movie Hollywood movies seem fake.
East Korean war movies are generally seen as the most realistic in the business. This is partly due to the generosity of the Great Leader of East Korea. The Great Leader has an outstanding order where the film industry can use as many prisoners as they need as extras in war movies, and in combination with the licence to use real ammunition the results are hyper-realistic!
Atfer seeing an East Korean war movie Hollywood movies seem fake.
Friday, 14 September 2007
Money in East Korea
The people of East Korea have no need for money because the Great Leader of East Korea provides them with all necessities for free. Because they do not have to worry about silly things such as money they have more time to work for the Greater Glory of the Nation.
However, the imperialist pigs of international trade require an exchange of monetary funds in their selfishness and the Great Leader of East Korea therefore ordered the printing of large amounts of money.
The currency of East Korea is the Geoff.
Ten Geoffs
It is rumoured that one of the wives of GeoffP, the Great Leader of East Korea, posed for the currency.
Note that the dollar looks similar to the geoff. That is because the Imperialist pigs of America stole the design.
However, the imperialist pigs of international trade require an exchange of monetary funds in their selfishness and the Great Leader of East Korea therefore ordered the printing of large amounts of money.
The currency of East Korea is the Geoff.
Ten Geoffs
It is rumoured that one of the wives of GeoffP, the Great Leader of East Korea, posed for the currency.
Note that the dollar looks similar to the geoff. That is because the Imperialist pigs of America stole the design.
East Korea and Fishing
The Fishing industry is one of the pillars of the East Korean economy, which is allegedly the strongest in the world with a GDP per elephant that is the highest in the world.
In ancient times fishermen went in small vulnerable boats on to the might East Korean Warm Current to fish a lone herring . The Great Leader of East Korea saw the madness of this scheme and ordered East Korean scientists to improve the fishing industry to make it Great.
Gigantic Fishing trawlers were constructed made out of clay and manure in 1977. Immense fishing nets were knotted by a voluntary workforce rounded up by the Ideology Police. This project was a huge success although most trawlers dissolved and sank before any fish could be caught. It did put East Korea on the map of fishing innovation and scientists from all around the world flocked to East Korea to be part of the Great Leap Forward in fishing.
A fleet of steel hulls was created by an enthusiastic labour force surrounded by Armed Forces in the year 1990. The hulls were populated with people who would proved the manpower to cast and haul in a gargantuan net. Although most of the steel boats sank due to an excessive amount of holes in the hull it was still a Great Leap Forward in Fishing innovation.
The Great Leader of East Korea was distressed by the fact that the People of East Korea could not execute simple commands such as building the greatest and most efficient fishing fleet the world had ever seen and now personally got involved in the project.
The people cheered!
The Great Leader of East Korea ordered the constructing of 23 heavy poison industries in the south of East Korea. The produced poison was directly injected into the East Korea Warm water current flowing north. Fish died by the millions and floated towards the Capital of East Korea, Geoffp City. Here a huge stationary net was constructed that skimmed the surface of the sea. This net is so big it can be seen from space.
A huge harvest of fish was collected in the first year of operation, although most fish was unfit for consumption. In the next few years hardly any fish was caught, and it is widely known that this was because imperialist capitalist pigs were scaring the fish away in their nuclear submarines.
In ancient times fishermen went in small vulnerable boats on to the might East Korean Warm Current to fish a lone herring . The Great Leader of East Korea saw the madness of this scheme and ordered East Korean scientists to improve the fishing industry to make it Great.
Gigantic Fishing trawlers were constructed made out of clay and manure in 1977. Immense fishing nets were knotted by a voluntary workforce rounded up by the Ideology Police. This project was a huge success although most trawlers dissolved and sank before any fish could be caught. It did put East Korea on the map of fishing innovation and scientists from all around the world flocked to East Korea to be part of the Great Leap Forward in fishing.
A fleet of steel hulls was created by an enthusiastic labour force surrounded by Armed Forces in the year 1990. The hulls were populated with people who would proved the manpower to cast and haul in a gargantuan net. Although most of the steel boats sank due to an excessive amount of holes in the hull it was still a Great Leap Forward in Fishing innovation.
The Great Leader of East Korea was distressed by the fact that the People of East Korea could not execute simple commands such as building the greatest and most efficient fishing fleet the world had ever seen and now personally got involved in the project.
The people cheered!
The Great Leader of East Korea ordered the constructing of 23 heavy poison industries in the south of East Korea. The produced poison was directly injected into the East Korea Warm water current flowing north. Fish died by the millions and floated towards the Capital of East Korea, Geoffp City. Here a huge stationary net was constructed that skimmed the surface of the sea. This net is so big it can be seen from space.
A huge harvest of fish was collected in the first year of operation, although most fish was unfit for consumption. In the next few years hardly any fish was caught, and it is widely known that this was because imperialist capitalist pigs were scaring the fish away in their nuclear submarines.
Wednesday, 12 September 2007
People of East Korea heading for extinction?
On the red list of Threatened species of 2007 the East Koreans rank no.1.
'Decades of nuclear plowing have diminished fertility rates', a scientist said.
The spokesperson for the minister of Misinformation of East Korea vehemently denies these imperialist lies and correctly showed that nuclear plowing has made the people of East Korea fat and satisfied.
The Great Leader of East Korea was not amused by the vicious attack of Western imperialist researchers who were 'paid by capitalist agitators to do the bidding of corporate pigs'.
The Minister of Misinformation was proud to announce that a Glorious program was initiated called 'Fight the imperialist Pigs by making Sweet love' in order to raise the birth rate although the Minister assured us that this program was unrelated to the plunging fertility rates.
The Great Leader of East Korea led by example as he married 45 more wives yesterday and satisfied them all twice over.
'Decades of nuclear plowing have diminished fertility rates', a scientist said.
The spokesperson for the minister of Misinformation of East Korea vehemently denies these imperialist lies and correctly showed that nuclear plowing has made the people of East Korea fat and satisfied.
The Great Leader of East Korea was not amused by the vicious attack of Western imperialist researchers who were 'paid by capitalist agitators to do the bidding of corporate pigs'.
The Minister of Misinformation was proud to announce that a Glorious program was initiated called 'Fight the imperialist Pigs by making Sweet love' in order to raise the birth rate although the Minister assured us that this program was unrelated to the plunging fertility rates.
The Great Leader of East Korea led by example as he married 45 more wives yesterday and satisfied them all twice over.
Wedding of the Century
Rumours have been floating around GeoffP City. It started when allegedly Jessica Alba was sighted at the Magnificent Airport of GeoffP City. Unreliable sources claim that she went straight to the Great Palace of the Great Leader of East Korea and that a secret wedding ceremony might have taken place that gives the Great Leader of East Korea, GeoffP, free access to the luscious curves of Jessica Alba and more!
The spokesperson for East Korea, Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf denied all claims that Great Leader of East Korea has taken another wife. He said that Our Beloved Leader married 33 women on this faithful day and he has satisfied all of them.
Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf - minister of Information of East Korea
The spokesperson for East Korea, Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf denied all claims that Great Leader of East Korea has taken another wife. He said that Our Beloved Leader married 33 women on this faithful day and he has satisfied all of them.
Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf - minister of Information of East Korea
Tuesday, 11 September 2007
East Korea and Science
East Korea and Science have long been synonymous with each other. Where there was science there was East Korea, where there was East Korea, there was science.
All important scientific discoveries were done in East Korea, although many of these were stolen by European and American researchers.
The most dramatic example of scientific robbery was the Atomic bomb, or East Korean Great Fire of Destruction as it was originally called. The atom bomb was invented by East Korean scientists in 1834 many years before it was stolen by the Imperialist Americans.
The Atom Bomb was originally used in East Korea as a way to plow fields. The Great Leader of East Korea in his wisdom wanted his people to concentrate on worshiping him instead of working the fields and hence bombs have been used since eternity to plow fields. Since the Great Leader thinks on a metalevel he ordered the inventing of the atom bomb in 1832 which lead to the first functional atom bomb in 1834. It was used to plow the fields south of GeoffP City with great success. The produce that came from the fields was exceptionally large and gave light during the night. People started using it as a alternative light source.
Ever since this wonderful day the East Koreans have been using atom bombs to grow larger harvests and cure hunger in the world.
All important scientific discoveries were done in East Korea, although many of these were stolen by European and American researchers.
The most dramatic example of scientific robbery was the Atomic bomb, or East Korean Great Fire of Destruction as it was originally called. The atom bomb was invented by East Korean scientists in 1834 many years before it was stolen by the Imperialist Americans.
The Atom Bomb was originally used in East Korea as a way to plow fields. The Great Leader of East Korea in his wisdom wanted his people to concentrate on worshiping him instead of working the fields and hence bombs have been used since eternity to plow fields. Since the Great Leader thinks on a metalevel he ordered the inventing of the atom bomb in 1832 which lead to the first functional atom bomb in 1834. It was used to plow the fields south of GeoffP City with great success. The produce that came from the fields was exceptionally large and gave light during the night. People started using it as a alternative light source.Ever since this wonderful day the East Koreans have been using atom bombs to grow larger harvests and cure hunger in the world.
Monday, 3 September 2007
The Historic origins of the people of East Korea
East Korea as the Birthplace of Modern man
When the Dutch Researcher Gerhard Van den Broek was digging in a cave in the south of East Korea he found an incomplete skeleton. He thought he had discovered a missing link between the large primates and the human species. This discovery went unnoticed due to the political denial of existence of East Korea.
Van den Broek died a lonely and bitter death in a brothel in Calcutta, where he spend his last years after his research had been rejected by the Academy of Sciences and the World.
The spectacular fossils were rediscovered in a drawer of the Natural History museum in Harderwijk. Modern researchers reinterpreted the remains as the first example of modern man, pushing the out of Asia theory back into the spotlight.
East Korea was the birthplace of modern man.
East Korea and democracy
East Korea did not only put the human species on the map, it was also the first nation that operated by the democratic principle, some 1300 years before democracy was reinvented in Ancient Greece. Some scholars might have said that the Ancient Greek stole democracy from the East Koreans.
The East Korean democracy operated on a simple principle. Whenever a decision needed to be made on an important issue all the people of East Korea gathered in a huge pit that could accommodate all.
Democracy ended in East Korea when a meeting was called during the rain season. A river broke through its banks and flooded the pit of democracy killing everybody except one woman.
This woman was known simply as Arba. She was impregnated by a sailor passing by and had twins. A boy and a girl. They would later marry and give rise to the new people of East Korea.
Interestingly, Arba is pronounced as Alba in East Korean. And it is thought that people with the last name of Alba, for instance Jessica Alba, could in theory be prodigy of the original founder of the East Korean people, a woman simply known as Arba.
Needless to say, this smart woman abolished the principles of democracy and installed herself as the very first Great Leader of East Korea, which would result in a line of many Great Leaders which all brought prosperity and happiness to East Korea.
When the Dutch Researcher Gerhard Van den Broek was digging in a cave in the south of East Korea he found an incomplete skeleton. He thought he had discovered a missing link between the large primates and the human species. This discovery went unnoticed due to the political denial of existence of East Korea.
Van den Broek died a lonely and bitter death in a brothel in Calcutta, where he spend his last years after his research had been rejected by the Academy of Sciences and the World.
The spectacular fossils were rediscovered in a drawer of the Natural History museum in Harderwijk. Modern researchers reinterpreted the remains as the first example of modern man, pushing the out of Asia theory back into the spotlight.
East Korea was the birthplace of modern man.
East Korea and democracy
East Korea did not only put the human species on the map, it was also the first nation that operated by the democratic principle, some 1300 years before democracy was reinvented in Ancient Greece. Some scholars might have said that the Ancient Greek stole democracy from the East Koreans.
The East Korean democracy operated on a simple principle. Whenever a decision needed to be made on an important issue all the people of East Korea gathered in a huge pit that could accommodate all.
Democracy ended in East Korea when a meeting was called during the rain season. A river broke through its banks and flooded the pit of democracy killing everybody except one woman.
This woman was known simply as Arba. She was impregnated by a sailor passing by and had twins. A boy and a girl. They would later marry and give rise to the new people of East Korea.
Interestingly, Arba is pronounced as Alba in East Korean. And it is thought that people with the last name of Alba, for instance Jessica Alba, could in theory be prodigy of the original founder of the East Korean people, a woman simply known as Arba.
Needless to say, this smart woman abolished the principles of democracy and installed herself as the very first Great Leader of East Korea, which would result in a line of many Great Leaders which all brought prosperity and happiness to East Korea.
Saturday, 1 September 2007
Interview with an East Korean
Interviewer (INT): Hello, I am from abroad, from far away and I wish to ask you some question about the Great Nation of East Korea!
Old Lady (OL): GeoffP is the Greatest Leader in the world!
INT: What is it like living in East Korea?
OL: It is better than living in Heaven because East Korea is the Greatest Country in the world.
INT: Could you give some more specific examples of why East Korea is great?
OL: Everything is East Korea is Great! Thanks to the Great Leader of East Korea!
INT: I hear it rains a lot in East Korea?
OL: Vicious imperialist lies. The weather of East Korea is the Greatest Weather in the World!
INT: Is it true that the people are often hungry?
OL: Yes, We are hungry for the Wisdom of the Great Leader. May he be Generous and enlighten us.
INT: Who is this rough-looking man behind you btw?
OL: There is nobody behind me.
INT: That suspicious looking man that is listening in on our conversation.
OL: You must have hit your head on your way to East Korea because there is nobody there.
INT: THERE..THAT MAN (grabs suspicious man by coat).
OL: Oh, that man. He is a member of the Great Organization For Ideological Control.
INT: what's that?
OL: It's an organization of people who like helping old ladies cross the street.
INT: thank you very much for this enlightening interview.
OL: I thank the Great Leader of East Korea for providing me with everything.
Old Lady (OL): GeoffP is the Greatest Leader in the world!
INT: What is it like living in East Korea?
OL: It is better than living in Heaven because East Korea is the Greatest Country in the world.
INT: Could you give some more specific examples of why East Korea is great?
OL: Everything is East Korea is Great! Thanks to the Great Leader of East Korea!
INT: I hear it rains a lot in East Korea?
OL: Vicious imperialist lies. The weather of East Korea is the Greatest Weather in the World!
INT: Is it true that the people are often hungry?
OL: Yes, We are hungry for the Wisdom of the Great Leader. May he be Generous and enlighten us.
INT: Who is this rough-looking man behind you btw?
OL: There is nobody behind me.
INT: That suspicious looking man that is listening in on our conversation.
OL: You must have hit your head on your way to East Korea because there is nobody there.
INT: THERE..THAT MAN (grabs suspicious man by coat).
OL: Oh, that man. He is a member of the Great Organization For Ideological Control.
INT: what's that?
OL: It's an organization of people who like helping old ladies cross the street.
INT: thank you very much for this enlightening interview.
OL: I thank the Great Leader of East Korea for providing me with everything.
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