Child monitoring is serious business in East Korea. The development of all girls in East Korea is strictly monitored and compared to the developmental chart of Jessica Alba. When a promising candidate is found she is isolated and put in a special school for re-education where the potential Jessica Alba look-a-likes are trained to be like Jessica Alba and to love the Great Leader of East Korea, GeoffP.
Only the best Jessica Albas end up in GeoffP's Harem.
Wednesday, 31 October 2007
Thursday, 27 September 2007
Apologies!
We are terribly sorry for our absence. I am proud to announce I have spend some time in a re-education facility deep in the mountains of East Korea where I learned to survive under bitter weather conditions with my comrades which also needed to undergo re-education.
I have learned that I should not question whether it is right that our Great Leader lives in a palace the size of a small city by himself, while I share a tiny appartment with ten other people. The Great Leader has made many sacrifices for us and we reward him for his sacrifices by building him his Great Palace so our Great Leader can work for us refreshed and under optimal conditions.
We love Our Great Leader for teaching me how to interrogate my fellow comrades during my re-education, where I learned how to squeeze the last dignity from them and let them become a cog in the machinery of our great nation, with only one desire. TO MAKE EAST KOREA EVEN GREATER!
I thank the Great Leader for being humble and giving me an opportunity to come back to society, unlike most of my comrades during re-education, since we ate them due to lack of food.
There deaths have not been in vane!
I have learned that I should not question whether it is right that our Great Leader lives in a palace the size of a small city by himself, while I share a tiny appartment with ten other people. The Great Leader has made many sacrifices for us and we reward him for his sacrifices by building him his Great Palace so our Great Leader can work for us refreshed and under optimal conditions.
We love Our Great Leader for teaching me how to interrogate my fellow comrades during my re-education, where I learned how to squeeze the last dignity from them and let them become a cog in the machinery of our great nation, with only one desire. TO MAKE EAST KOREA EVEN GREATER!
I thank the Great Leader for being humble and giving me an opportunity to come back to society, unlike most of my comrades during re-education, since we ate them due to lack of food.
There deaths have not been in vane!
Monday, 17 September 2007
East Korea declares victory on Russia!
In a shameless propaganda stunt by the Imperialist Russian regime they claim that they are shooting gerbils into space.
The East Korean Government is proud to announce that they have been shooting cows into space by means of nuclear plowing for more than 50 years.
Sunday, 16 September 2007
Cinema of East Korea
East Korea is famous for its high culture. The 'film' industry of East Korea is world renowned for its daring topics and visual greatness.
East Korean war movies are generally seen as the most realistic in the business. This is partly due to the generosity of the Great Leader of East Korea. The Great Leader has an outstanding order where the film industry can use as many prisoners as they need as extras in war movies, and in combination with the licence to use real ammunition the results are hyper-realistic!
Atfer seeing an East Korean war movie Hollywood movies seem fake.
East Korean war movies are generally seen as the most realistic in the business. This is partly due to the generosity of the Great Leader of East Korea. The Great Leader has an outstanding order where the film industry can use as many prisoners as they need as extras in war movies, and in combination with the licence to use real ammunition the results are hyper-realistic!
Atfer seeing an East Korean war movie Hollywood movies seem fake.
Friday, 14 September 2007
Money in East Korea
The people of East Korea have no need for money because the Great Leader of East Korea provides them with all necessities for free. Because they do not have to worry about silly things such as money they have more time to work for the Greater Glory of the Nation.
However, the imperialist pigs of international trade require an exchange of monetary funds in their selfishness and the Great Leader of East Korea therefore ordered the printing of large amounts of money.
The currency of East Korea is the Geoff.
Ten Geoffs
It is rumoured that one of the wives of GeoffP, the Great Leader of East Korea, posed for the currency.
Note that the dollar looks similar to the geoff. That is because the Imperialist pigs of America stole the design.
However, the imperialist pigs of international trade require an exchange of monetary funds in their selfishness and the Great Leader of East Korea therefore ordered the printing of large amounts of money.
The currency of East Korea is the Geoff.
Ten Geoffs
It is rumoured that one of the wives of GeoffP, the Great Leader of East Korea, posed for the currency.
Note that the dollar looks similar to the geoff. That is because the Imperialist pigs of America stole the design.
East Korea and Fishing
The Fishing industry is one of the pillars of the East Korean economy, which is allegedly the strongest in the world with a GDP per elephant that is the highest in the world.
In ancient times fishermen went in small vulnerable boats on to the might East Korean Warm Current to fish a lone herring . The Great Leader of East Korea saw the madness of this scheme and ordered East Korean scientists to improve the fishing industry to make it Great.
Gigantic Fishing trawlers were constructed made out of clay and manure in 1977. Immense fishing nets were knotted by a voluntary workforce rounded up by the Ideology Police. This project was a huge success although most trawlers dissolved and sank before any fish could be caught. It did put East Korea on the map of fishing innovation and scientists from all around the world flocked to East Korea to be part of the Great Leap Forward in fishing.
A fleet of steel hulls was created by an enthusiastic labour force surrounded by Armed Forces in the year 1990. The hulls were populated with people who would proved the manpower to cast and haul in a gargantuan net. Although most of the steel boats sank due to an excessive amount of holes in the hull it was still a Great Leap Forward in Fishing innovation.
The Great Leader of East Korea was distressed by the fact that the People of East Korea could not execute simple commands such as building the greatest and most efficient fishing fleet the world had ever seen and now personally got involved in the project.
The people cheered!
The Great Leader of East Korea ordered the constructing of 23 heavy poison industries in the south of East Korea. The produced poison was directly injected into the East Korea Warm water current flowing north. Fish died by the millions and floated towards the Capital of East Korea, Geoffp City. Here a huge stationary net was constructed that skimmed the surface of the sea. This net is so big it can be seen from space.
A huge harvest of fish was collected in the first year of operation, although most fish was unfit for consumption. In the next few years hardly any fish was caught, and it is widely known that this was because imperialist capitalist pigs were scaring the fish away in their nuclear submarines.
In ancient times fishermen went in small vulnerable boats on to the might East Korean Warm Current to fish a lone herring . The Great Leader of East Korea saw the madness of this scheme and ordered East Korean scientists to improve the fishing industry to make it Great.
Gigantic Fishing trawlers were constructed made out of clay and manure in 1977. Immense fishing nets were knotted by a voluntary workforce rounded up by the Ideology Police. This project was a huge success although most trawlers dissolved and sank before any fish could be caught. It did put East Korea on the map of fishing innovation and scientists from all around the world flocked to East Korea to be part of the Great Leap Forward in fishing.
A fleet of steel hulls was created by an enthusiastic labour force surrounded by Armed Forces in the year 1990. The hulls were populated with people who would proved the manpower to cast and haul in a gargantuan net. Although most of the steel boats sank due to an excessive amount of holes in the hull it was still a Great Leap Forward in Fishing innovation.
The Great Leader of East Korea was distressed by the fact that the People of East Korea could not execute simple commands such as building the greatest and most efficient fishing fleet the world had ever seen and now personally got involved in the project.
The people cheered!
The Great Leader of East Korea ordered the constructing of 23 heavy poison industries in the south of East Korea. The produced poison was directly injected into the East Korea Warm water current flowing north. Fish died by the millions and floated towards the Capital of East Korea, Geoffp City. Here a huge stationary net was constructed that skimmed the surface of the sea. This net is so big it can be seen from space.
A huge harvest of fish was collected in the first year of operation, although most fish was unfit for consumption. In the next few years hardly any fish was caught, and it is widely known that this was because imperialist capitalist pigs were scaring the fish away in their nuclear submarines.
Wednesday, 12 September 2007
People of East Korea heading for extinction?
On the red list of Threatened species of 2007 the East Koreans rank no.1.
'Decades of nuclear plowing have diminished fertility rates', a scientist said.
The spokesperson for the minister of Misinformation of East Korea vehemently denies these imperialist lies and correctly showed that nuclear plowing has made the people of East Korea fat and satisfied.
The Great Leader of East Korea was not amused by the vicious attack of Western imperialist researchers who were 'paid by capitalist agitators to do the bidding of corporate pigs'.
The Minister of Misinformation was proud to announce that a Glorious program was initiated called 'Fight the imperialist Pigs by making Sweet love' in order to raise the birth rate although the Minister assured us that this program was unrelated to the plunging fertility rates.
The Great Leader of East Korea led by example as he married 45 more wives yesterday and satisfied them all twice over.
'Decades of nuclear plowing have diminished fertility rates', a scientist said.
The spokesperson for the minister of Misinformation of East Korea vehemently denies these imperialist lies and correctly showed that nuclear plowing has made the people of East Korea fat and satisfied.
The Great Leader of East Korea was not amused by the vicious attack of Western imperialist researchers who were 'paid by capitalist agitators to do the bidding of corporate pigs'.
The Minister of Misinformation was proud to announce that a Glorious program was initiated called 'Fight the imperialist Pigs by making Sweet love' in order to raise the birth rate although the Minister assured us that this program was unrelated to the plunging fertility rates.
The Great Leader of East Korea led by example as he married 45 more wives yesterday and satisfied them all twice over.
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