Friday 31 August 2007

Industry and export in East Korea

It's difficult to build up a modern industry and export goods when your country isn't even on most maps. However, the people of East Korea are not know for giving up easily


The main export good of East Korea is diluted salt. The salt is mined in an extensive network of profitable 'slave-mediated' salt mines. The mining industry of East Korea has been heavily praised by leftish dictators of the world and republicans of the USA alike.


On the home market the sex industry is by far the largest, and is mainly concentrated in Port Spurious, a strange little town a few kilometers not shown on most maps. Port Spurious is one of the largest ports in the world if you count the number of bordellos, massage parlours with happy endings, whorehouses and strip clubs which can be identified by their red markings. Port Spurious is located just outside GeoffP City about 5 km inland. It is therefore about 10 km from the East Korea Warm Current.



Port Spurious

GeoffP City

The capital of East Korea is GeoffP City. It is named after the Great Leader of East Korea, GeoffP.

It is truly a marvelous city worthy of a Great Leader.

GeoffP City is known as the city with the least handicapped people in the world. This is mainly because of a huge Heroic facility for the Disposal of handicapped people just North of the city where handicapped people meet their maker. On a daily basis teams of dedicated Handicapped people hunters scour the streets in search of the blind, the deaf, the crippled and the people of limited mental capability. It would be an insult to The Great Leader to live among handicapped people.

The dead handicapped people are processed that the Great Incinerator just east of GeoffP city, often leading to the formation of gargantuan columns of black smoke east of GeoffP City eradicating the need for a compass in GeoffP City.

The wide boulevards without any traffic all leading to the Residence of the Great Leader, the Presidential Palace make it a pleasant city to take a stroll in.

A major tourist attraction and central focal point is the Presidential Palace.




The presidential palace
and an Imperial Guard.





It is widely known as the biggest Presidential Palace in the world.

Wednesday 29 August 2007

Culture in East Korea

I cannot do justice to the culture of the Great Nation of East Korea with a single post and therefore we will see more daily entries on this interesting aspect of East Korea in the future.

I would like to direct your attention to a cultural event that is unique in the world: The Running of the Shits.

This event is held each year in the capital of East Korea, GeoffP City, and consists out of an army of contestants trying to run up a hill and arrive at the top first. Although this might sound rather bland and normal this event is made special by the fact that the up to 200,000 people stand on top of the hill unleashing their diarrhea induced by eating spoiled food, on the hill, covering the steep incline with a slippery layer of stinking feces. This is known as 'waxing' the hill.

The Great Leader of East Korea, GeoffP, signals the start of the event by throwing the severed head of a virgin down the hill. The person who manages to reach the top of the hill first wins the grand price; this Hero may serve as dinner for the Great Leader himself after being so wonderfully marinated and proven to have lean effective muscles.

During the year contestants often practice on smaller hills in order to be in top shape for the main cultural event of the year.




Tuesday 28 August 2007

Are there any famous East Koreans?



There is nothing better than putting a nation on the map by having a celebrity! Who had ever heard Belgium before Jean-Claude van Damme entered the scene with his muscles and legs capable of splitting towards infinity, the muscles from Brussles. Exactly, noboby!

Ironically, one of the most famous celebrities ever, if you rely on porn bots spamming forums, is Jessica Alba. A little known rumour is that Jessica Alba has allegedly connections to the Great Nation of East Korea.

The following press release picture actually shows Jessica Alba with the medal for for Great Heroic Contributions to Spreading Myuunitaranism to the People of the World. Myuunitaranism is the official religion of East Korea.

The nation of East Korea is very Proud to have Jessica Alba as a role model, because there is nobody in the world who would be a better role model except for the Great Leader of East Korea.

Introduction to East Korea

East Korea is a nation most people have never heard off.

It's situated east of North and South Korea and it mostly known for its influence on the East Korean warm water current. People ignore this nation because it is rather uncomfortable to talk about it.

It's not a strict democracy, in fact there is one Great Leader. It's not exporting electronic junk or toys with lead paint. It's just minding its own business which consists mainly of directing all efforts to keep the people happy and satisfied.

The USA therefore decided already in the 50s to erase this nation from the public memory and coerced all allies into doing the same. The Soviet Union adopted a similar policy because the Nation of East Korea refused to join the communist cause.

In this blog I will try to bring this great nation under the public attention.

reference:
http://www.sciforums.com/encyclopedia/East_Korea